My baby is dead.
I am a bereaved mother.
Trauma changed my brain.
I ask for help and choose healing.
I have suffered the anguish of grief.
I live with empathy and compassion.
I lost myself and my beliefs.
I discovered a more authentic me.
Friends disappeared and relationships gone.
Deep connections found amongst the commonalities in community.
I have triggers and suffer PTSD.
The helpline and shit club are there for me.
Sometimes I push it down.
But it asks to be let out.
Grief is love without a place to go.
So I find somewhere to put it.
Energy is not created or destroyed
Only transferred or transformed.
Where is your energy my baby?
I want to connect with you. To love you.
I look for you in the small ways.
I connect with you in the subtle ways.
I am always longing to give you so much more.
I will never be satisfied until I can kiss you, hold you.
I learn to live one day at a time with this void.
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.
I love you Leia.
Photo credit: Melanie Pastuck
NILMDTS photographer
Stephanie Aitken
We are dedicated to supporting individuals of all faiths, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and gender identities. In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.