The Beautiful Place I am Right Now

My name is Monica Bivas, I am an IVF, Fertility & Life coach, I am not a famous woman or celebrity, I am a regular woman, an IVF Warrior with a story to tell to inspire others. A story that thankfully took me to the beautiful place I am right now, My road to motherhood was not an easy one, and I Know that there are so many women and couples out there struggling to be parents⁠

My fertility journey started 15 years ago when I came to the United States after marrying my husband in my country, Colombia. I wanted to get pregnant right away, After a little over a year of trying I was worried and thought that I must be the one with the problem. ⁠

My OBGYN put me on clomid for two months, but nothing really happened. I felt very depressed, but my husband always supported me, Next we did a lot of blood tests which all came back normal and my hormone levels were Great, I always had very steady and exact periods, so all seemed ok on that side.⁠

After I went for a hysterosalpingogram, my OBGYN told us that both my tubes were blocked (Eventually they found that my tubes were blocked due to Endometriosis) which was the reason I couldn’t get pregnant, the embryo could not travel from the tubes to the uterus. He gave us a card recommending a RE well known here in NY and with very reasonable prices. I left that office devastated, crying non-stop. My husband calmed me down in the car telling me to look on the bright side – that we can be grateful that there is still hope of having a baby.⁠

We went to see the RE in November 2004. He ordered further tests and a laparoscopy to try to open the tubes and then proceed to do another hysterosalpingogram, but the tubes were still blocked, IVF was our only choice. Everything went smoothly – RE retrieved 34 eggs, 14 of which fertilized, and we transferred 4. One of those became my now 15 -year old Eliyah, which was amazing, because as most going through IVF know, most of the first-time cycles are not successful.⁠

In 2009 during my second IVF cycle, due to a mistake by the nurse who accidentally changed charts with another patient and gave me the wrong medicine amount. I got very sick with OHSS and my cycle had to be cancelled.

The RE offered us another cycle for free. For this third cycle, we decided to do chromosomal testing. We got 5 Blastocysts. The tests found out that one of the 5 embryos had Chromosomic issues, so we decided again this time to transfer the remaining 4. From the 4, 3 were very good (the 3 also were males) and 1 was developing slower. (this one was a female; the 3 good ones were males) We transferred all 4 embryos and the embryo which was behind attached and developed into a pregnancy. My pregnancy was good all the way, including the amniocentesis, which was when we confirmed that we were having a girl. Everything was normal. But no one knew that I was developing a blood clotting problem.

At 39 weeks, 3 days before my delivery due date, my Isabelle died in my womb due to a blood clot in the umbilical cord.

I had to deliver her anyway.

every story matters

The Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Centre is a non-profit registered charity that helps families connect to support on their path to healing after pregnancy or infant loss.  Families like yours can work with us and get support with a variety of services that hold space for your unique story. No matter at what stage of your parenthood journey you find yourself, your story will be heard here.

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